For Wayne Yeung, being a caregiver means learning to live with uncertainty. His wife, Rebecca, was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2017. He’s been on the cancer journey with her from Day 1.

Yeung is a winner of the 2020 GO2 for Lung Cancer Wind Beneath My Wings Caregiver Award, handed out at the organization’s annual virtual gala. The award recognizes caring, compassionate people who go above the call of duty to care for a loved one facing lung cancer.

In nominating her stepfather, Chloe Pounds wrote that “everything Wayne does, he does for mom… My mom and I would be lost without my stepdad. He has been there for her, and for me, more than anyone else. He stepped up when we had no idea what to do.” Yeung’s mother-in-law, Nellie Stapleton, wrote, “Since my daughter has had lung cancer, he has been a remarkable caregiver, participating in her treatment, researching for her, loving her with all he is. I am so thankful that he is in her life.”

Advice for Caregivers: Ask for help and be present in the moment.

Yeung told Monthly Measure that the cancer journey comes with a lot of uncertainty. “We’re had a lot of surprises: things we thought would work but didn’t. Side effects we didn’t know about. The unknown is always going to pop up.”

To help manage the uncertainty, he and Rebecca recently joined a KRAS support group. Yeung said having a focus group of people with the same condition has been invaluable.

“It makes navigating things easier,” Yeung said. “You can talk to people who’ve experienced clinical trials. People who know what treatments are available and the side effects. Even just someone who can help explain in simple language what your oncologist said in that 30-minute appointment.”

Yeung also said that living with uncertainty has taught him to appreciate each day. Doing so has helped both him and Rebecca live in the present moment rather than letting the disease overwhelm them.

Finally, Yeung has another piece of advice for other caregivers: don’t forget to ask the patient what she wants. “Sometimes we’re so focused on what we think is right that we forget it might not be what she wants in the moment,” he said.

Yeung adds that part of slowing down is listening to the patient. “As a caregiver, it’s important to make sure that you and the person you are caring for are in step—and that you’re not stepping forward in your haste to get everything managed,” he said. “Make sure you’re in line and going through the cancer journey together.”