Question: I have many questions about my lung cancer diagnosis and treatment options, but I’m worried about bothering my doctor. What should I do? 

Answer:* If you have an oncologist who makes you feel like you shouldn’t be contacting them, then you have the wrong oncologist. What will keep me awake at night is worrying about the person who doesn’t contact me. I want people to let me know that they have questions. It’s particularly painful for me if someone has not reached out and things get worse – like being hospitalized or having a new issue to manage. I don’t want people to have to go through these types of things.

The whole point of our work as oncologists is you, our patients. We do all of this so that you can live your life. You don’t live your life so that you can be treated for cancer. My goal is to help you get back to your life as much as possible. We know that it will never be the same now that you have a lung cancer diagnosis; we’re not avoiding that. But how do we get back to the other things [that make your life meaningful]?

The only way for you to get your day-to-day life back is for you to put the cancer stuff on me. That’s my job. That’s what I want to do for you. I can’t do my job if you’re not reaching out. I want to hear from you. And if, for whatever reason, you aren’t getting that [from your doctors], then maybe you have the wrong team.

More likely, though, I think people shy away from reaching out to their doctors with questions because it feels like too much or because they have some guilt around it too. This is the most painful situation for me to see because this is your team. And when you show up for yourself, that’s what gets the best results for you. And that’s what we all want!

I feel better when I see patients do better. It hurts me when I see patients who are not. It’s painful to me, and I know it’s even more painful to them and their families. But it affects the oncologist, too. We want the best for the people we’re treating, and so we need you to reach out when you need it.

(*Answered by Dr. Jacob Sands from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Harvard Medical School during his August 2023 GO2 Lung Cancer Living Room appearance.  It has been edited for this use.)

Please note that the information included in any published answer is for educational pursuit only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult their healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Nothing from GO2 for Lung Cancer should be construed as an attempt to offer or render a medical opinion.