Ask the Experts: Survivor Guilt

Question: I became friends with a lot of people with lung cancer after I was diagnosed. So many of them didn’t make it but I’m still here. That’s hard for me at times, what can I do? 

Answer: You may be experiencing what has been called “survivor guilt.” 

What is survivor guilt? 

Survivor guilt is, just as it sounds, feelings of guilt or sadness that may come when one survives an illness, situation, or event that others did not. As a concept, survivor guilt has been around for over 100 years, but the actual term was coined in 1943. Exploring the effects of survivor guilt and how it affects people started in the 1960’s.  

What do we know about survivor guilt in lung cancer?  

The extent to which survivor guilt exists in people with cancer or how it affects them is an understudied part of the cancer experience. For that reason, GO2 developed a survey in 2019 to gain insight into survivor guilt in people diagnosed with lung cancer. The survey results were published in a paper titled Survivor guilt: The secret burden of lung cancer survivorship.

GO2 asked 108 lung cancer survivors about their experiences and found that “in the case of lung cancer survivorship, rather than feeling joy and relief for surviving cancer, those who suffer survivor guilt experience guilt precisely for being the ‘lucky one’ who did not die.”  

The results of the survey indicated that survivor guilt can affect people with lung cancer at any point after a diagnosis. It is notable that conflicting feelings of guilt and gratitude particularly affected those whose lung cancer was found in the early stages. While they felt lucky, feelings of guilt actually increased throughout their survivorship.   

What can I do if I feel survivor guilt?  

The feelings that come with survivor guilt can be uncomfortable; however, these feelings are a sign of empathy and can be a way your mind makes sense of your diagnosis.  

We do not control our biology. It’s important to understand that you are unique and how you respond to a given treatment is, too. Lung cancer statistics don’t tell your personal story. 

Coping with the feelings of a lung cancer diagnosis is also different for everyone. You may prefer to work through your feelings alone, or you may find it helpful to talk with loved ones or connect with others who have a lung cancer diagnosis.  

You may also find one or more of the following to be helpful: 

• Practices such as yoga, medication, mindfulness, and self-compassion can help. 
  • GO2 for Lung Cancer offers Mind Over Matter, a virtual 5-week series that teaches tips and tools to handle feelings like fear, worry, and sadness that often come with a cancer diagnosis and treatment. To join, please fill out this interest form.
  • Consider taking part in a study from Loyola Marymount University to test a group-based mindfulness intervention with people who have been diagnosed with lung cancer. Visit this page or email prrismlab@lmu.edu for more information.
  • Check with your cancer center to see if these kinds of programs and services are offered there.
• Connecting with others and giving back helps us feel less alone.
  • Join or start a lung cancer support group.
    • GO2’s HelpLine can help you to find a group to join.
  • We can also provide direction if you would like to start your own group. Call 1-800-298-2436 or email support@go2.org to learn more. Our caring and professional staff stand ready to help.
  • Phone Buddy peer-to-peer support program for people with lung cancer. 
  • Expressing yourself creatively, through a formal program, or on your own, can be a good way to work through feelings. Examples include listening to music, singing, journaling, learning to play an instrument, etc.
• Seek professional help.
  • Sometimes, emotions like survivor guilt can feel like too much to handle alone. That’s where professional counselors can help. If you are having trouble finding help in your area, please call 1-800-298-2436 or email support@go2.org. Our caring and professional staff stand ready to help.

Please note that the information included in any published answer is for educational pursuit only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult their healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation. Nothing from GO2 for Lung Cancer should be construed as an attempt to offer or render a medical opinion.